Go & Hide & Runaway
by Halawen
Summary: Terrified when she finds out she's pregnant she flees and runs to Jake. Her fear only increases when she learns the risks. A chance encounter with Lucas will help. She still has to tell Eli he's a dad and how will he react? 2-shot of drama and fluff.
1. Sometimes You Gotta Leave it all Behind

**This will be a 2 shot and part two will be going up in March.**

 **A couple of DeGrassi Saviors website announcements before we get started :**

 **The polls on my page have come down the winning stories were** _ **Don't Drink the Punch**_ **and** _ **Naughty Time in the Lingerie Shop**_ **. The Winning Couples for Christmas shots were Clare/Dallas and Clare Bianca. Remember that I can't guarantee that any shots will go up over Christmas break as I don't know how much time I will have. If they don't go up over Christmas then I'll probably do a Christmas in July.**

 **My January and February writing calendars are up on my page. March will go up after one shot month.**

 **Alright enough of that here is all the stuff to know before reading:**

 ***Adam is alive but he did crash and he's in a coma**

 ***The rest is cannon through Thunderstruck and begins right after Clare returns from New York and she's on the phone with the New York hospital**

 ***Jake is a bit ooc slightly more protective than he was in the show and Lucas is ooc but I'm calling that character growth**

 **Ch. 1 Sometimes You Gotta Leave it All Behind**

 **(CLARE)**

"Everything is fine with you and your baby."

The word sends a chill through me; I feel my heart stop and my stomach drop out. I hang up the phone but I can't breathe. _"Baby? Did she just say baby?! I'm not pregnant, I can't be pregnant we always use condoms. Drew and I used a condom I am not pregnant!"_

"Clare are you okay?" Alli questions.

"I have to go," I reply walking quickly back to my car and jumping in. I don't drive home, I just don't want to be there, I want to run and hide so I drive to the airport. It seems to be clearing out, anyone who was delayed by the storm seems to be gone and after about ten minutes I make it to the ticket counter. "I need a ticket to Vancouver," I tell the man. I have no luggage and I'm visibly upset so he gives me an odd look. "My brother was in a terrible accident he's badly hurt and I have to get out there," I tell him.

"There's a flight leaving in two hours with a layover in Winnipeg," he says.

"Great I'll take it," I reply slapping Mom's emergency credit card down on the counter. Mom will probably kill me for the large charge but I have a feeling she'll be more upset about the fact that I'm pregnant.

The ticket clerk prints my boarding pass and I go up to security. Once I'm through security and at my gate I call my mom. She doesn't answer so I leave a message that I'm staying in New York. Having flown in from New York, going straight to DeGrassi, finding out I was pregnant and rushing back to the airport I am very tired. I fall asleep on the plane and don't wake up until a flight attendant touches my arm to wake me up when we've landed in Vancouver. It's a little after seven at night now, by the time we de-board and I get down to where the taxis are it's after seven-thirty. I give the cab driver Jake's address and he pulls up outside of the apartment building just after eight. I enter the apartment building and find Jake's apartment and I bang on the door.

"Yeah I'm coming," Jake calls back. "Clare?" He questions with shock when he opens the door and sees me. "Clare what are you doing here?" He asks pulling me into the apartment and locking the door.

Once I'm inside I breakdown, all the thoughts and fears I have about being pregnant come to the surface and I break into tears. I'm not even sure why I ran to Jake of all people, it's not as though we've ever been particularly close as siblings. Still he's been a pretty good brother at times and I guess that's what I need right now. Or I didn't feel like I could run anywhere else. Either way I'm here and upset and seeking comfort from Jake. I cling to him, crying on his chest and he hugs me tight.

"Clare what is it? What's wrong? Is it Mom and Dad?" Jake asks frantically but I'm too upset to answer so all I can do is shake my head. "Then what's wrong?" He asks again but I still can't speak and just shake my head once more. "Clare please talk to me, you're scaring me what's the matter? Why did you fly all the way here on your own with no luggage and burst into tears as soon as you were through my door?" He pleads. I take a deep breath, swallowing some tears so that I can speak enough to tell him what's wrong.

"I'm pregnant," I whisper looking up at him and then my head falls back onto his chest as I burst into tears again.

"Pre…pregnant?!" Jake chokes on the word. "Have you told Eli?"

I shake my head against Jake's chest again, "I think it might be Drew's."

"Shit you had sex with Drew? Why in the hell would you have sex with that womanizing moron? He's never made a smart decision about anything in his life and you decided it was a good idea to sleep with Drew. Wait let me guess Eli did something idiotic and suddenly Drew was looking good to you," Jake comments and I start bawling even harder.

 **(JAKE)**

Clare's heavy tears are quickly soaking my shirt, she's crying so hard she's shaking and I feel bad for lecturing. Obviously she feels ashamed and stupid or she wouldn't have hopped a plane and come to me.

"I'm sorry," I sigh sitting her down on the sofa, "I'm not really mad at you I'm angry with Drew." I let go of Clare and grab my phone from the coffee table. I have Drew's number from the time we all went to the cabin.

"Jake what are you doing?" Clare asks as I click on Drew's name.

"I need to yell at Drew," I reply putting my phone to my ear as it begins ringing.

"Jake?" Drew asks with confusion when he answers.

"WHAT THE FUCK WERE YOU THINKING SLEEPING WITH MY SISTER?! JUST BECAUSE Eli WAS A MORON DOESN'T GIVE YOU THE RIGHT TO TAKE ADVANTAGE OF HER. HOW COULD YOU HAVE SEX WITH HER AND GET HER PREGNANT?!"

"I didn't take adv…PREGNANT?"

"Yes pregnant and the next time I see you I'm going to kill you," I inform him and hang up because I have one more call to make.

"Hey Jake haven't heard from you in a long time," Eli answers.

"Yeah well Clare just showed up on my doorstep in tears after finding out she's pregnant."

"She's what?" Eli chokes losing all the breath in his body.

"Pregnant but she believes it's Drew's and not yours and I can only assume you did something moronic and selfish to make her go to Drew."

"She actually had sex with him?"

"Yeah I know I couldn't believe it either."

"Can I talk to her?" Eli requests. I hold out the phone to Clare and she hangs up.

"I don't want to talk to either of them," she says.

"Does your mom know where you are?" I inquire.

"I left a message that I was staying in New York, my phone has been off since I boarded the plane to get here," she replies.

"Okay I have to call your mom in the morning and tell her where you really are," I comment as my phone rings and Drew's name flashes on the screen.

"Turn it off I'm not talking to them," she says. I decline the call and turn off my phone knowing Clare's upset and in no state to talk.

"Alright first thing in the morning we'll go get you a pregnancy test and find out just how pregnant you are. That should tell us whether Drew or Eli is the father. Please tell me those are the only two options," I plead.

"Yes they're the only two," she nods as her tears begin to dry up a little. "What I'm going to do Jake?"

"Let's figure that out tomorrow after we find out how pregnant you are and who the father is. I'll call your mom after the doctor right now you should get some sleep."

"I'm not tired I slept on the plane," she says.

"Okay well I've been up since five and this was a lot to take in so I am tired. You can take the bedroom if you want."

"No I'll be fine on the sofa; I think I'll just watch TV for a bit."

I give her a sympathetic smile and get off the sofa. I get one of my shirts for her to sleep in before saying goodnight. As tired as I am I lie awake in my bed for a while thinking about Clare's predicament. I know we haven't always been close but I have to wonder why no one told me any of this. I didn't even know she and Eli were having problems, although I probably could have guessed. I wake up after a few hours of sleep, when I go out to the living room Clare is asleep on the sofa with the TV still on. She wakes up as soon as I'm in the kitchen her eyes open.

"Morning, we should eat some breakfast and go to the doctor. There's a clinic not far from here we should be able to see a doctor there," I tell her and she nods.

I start breakfast and Clare gets off the sofa, she grabs her clothes and goes into the washroom to change. She eats a little bit and then after getting ready we go down to the clinic. She tells the woman at the front desk that she needs to confirm a pregnancy and know how pregnant she is. The woman hands Clare a clipboard and a bunch of forms and Clare sits down to fill them out. I sit with her looking at a pamphlet about pregnancy. When Clare is done she gets up handing the clipboard back to the woman and when Clare turns around again she bumps into someone.

"Sorry," he apologizes.

"That's okay," Clare replies and then looks up at him and I see recognition in her eyes, "Lucas."

"Do I know you?" He questions looking at her closely.

"Clare Edwards I'm Darcy's little sister," she says.

He looks at her squinting his eyes like he's still trying to place her, "Yeah sure I kind of remember you now. What are you doing here?"

"It's a very long story," she replies.

"Must be a sad one you look like you're going to cry," he comments.

"I'm pregnant and scared to death," she informs him.

"Holy crap," he exclaims a bit too loud and some of the other people in the waiting room look over.

"That's more or less what I said," I speak up and Lucas looks over at me. "I'm Clare's brother Jake," I introduce myself as Lucas walks over with Clare. She sits next to me and he sits next to her.

"I don't remember Darcy having a younger brother."

"He's our stepbrother my mom married his dad a couple of years ago. What are you doing in Vancouver I thought you worked as a security guard in Toronto?"

"I do but my mom moved here to take care of her mom who is sick. I'm out for a visit and we had to bring my grandma in for some tests. So who's the dad?"

"Either my ex or a…I can't even call it a one night stand we had sex in the prop room and then my ex showed up and Drew decides he's a rebound. We haven't talked much since then. I don't know what to do," Clare says as the tears start rolling down her cheeks. Lucas reaches over and brushes them away.

"We're done Lucas," a woman says. She must be his mother as she has an older woman on her arm. Lucas gets up and goes to the counter; he grabs a piece of paper writes on it and brings it back to Clare.

"Here's my number, call me after your appointment," Lucas tells her and she nods.

He leaves with his family and a few minutes later Clare is called back to a room and brings me with her. They take some blood and then she lies down on a table and they do an ultrasound. Then we wait for over half an hour until a doctor comes in. A female doctor comes in and apologizes for the wait saying she had to review Clare's medical history.

"You are pregnant and based on your blood test and scan you are ten weeks," the doctor tells her.

Clare looks over at me, "Eli." It's all she says to me but I know that it means Eli is the father. I don't know if this makes her feel any better or if she feels worse but at least now she's certain of who the father is. "I had periods though, a little lighter than usual but…" Clare says to the doctor but her sentence trails off.

"That wasn't your period but some minor bleeding, it's possible to have bleeding during pregnancy however I think in this case it had to do with your history of cancer. You had stage two rhabdomyosarcoma last year?" The doctor asks and I feel my stomach tie in knots when she says the word. It's the same feeling I had when Dad told me Clare had cancer.

"Yeah last summer I went into remission in August," Clare replies.

"And you're currently taking Doxorubicin?"

"Yes but this is my last bottle I have another three weeks left and then more tests."

"Unfortunately while they are good for fighting cancer they are extremely harmful to a fetus. You will have to decide whether to continue on the medications until you run out or discontinue them immediately."

"If she goes off the medications what happens to her?" I inquire.

"Going off the medications even a few days early will significantly increase the chances of a relapse. Going off the medications does increase the chances of carrying the baby to term; however I have to warn you that because you've been taking them for first ten weeks of the pregnancy it's likely they've already done damage."

"What kind of damage?" Clare questions.

"Any number of birth defects and miscarriage is the biggest risk."

"The bleeding?" Clare asks with such fear in her voice it breaks my heart.

"Was not because you miscarried it was probably from the placenta or uterus, complications of the medication you're on and the chemo you had. After reviewing your records I called your oncologist, the location of your tumor and the chemotherapy and targeted radiation did some damage to your reproductive system. Whether or not you carry this baby to term it is very likely that you won't be able to have children again," the doctor tells her and Clare goes pale. She just shuts down, it's like she's been petrified into a statue.

"Thanks doctor I think I should get her home now," I comment after a moment and the doctor nods.

She leaves the room and I touch Clare's arm, before we leave the room a nurse comes in with a stack of pamphlets and information for Clare. I drive us back to my place in silence, Clare doesn't move or speak, she hardly seems to breathe. She walks into my apartment and sits on the sofa just staring into nothing. Her mind is frozen with fear and probably a million other things. I grab her purse and go into the bedroom, Clare doesn't even react to me taking her purse just sits there frozen again. I sit on my bed and call Dad's phone, thankfully it's Sunday so he should be home with Helen.

"Hi Son," Dad answers.

"I need to talk to you and Helen, Clare's with me."

"Honey Jake says Clare is with him," Dad says putting the phone on speaker.

"What do you mean? She said she was staying the weekend in New York," Helen replies.

"She's here, she's here and pregnant and scared to death."

"She's what?!" Helen shrieks.

"Pregnant, it's Eli's a…"

"Well of course it's Eli's whose else would it be?" Helen interrupts.

"It doesn't matter the baby is Eli's but that's not the only thing that has her scared. She's been on her cancer medications the whole time because she didn't know she was pregnant. It could make her miscarry or leave the baby with birth defects and she'd have to go off her medications now to increase the chance of taking the baby to term which increases her chance for a relapse. I just wanted you guys to know she's here and safe and she can stay here as long as she wants. She's got a lot on her mind and she just needs time."

"Take care of her son and keep us informed," Dad says.

"Yeah I will."

"But I…" Helen begins and Dad cuts her off.

"Not now Helen Clare is being taken care of," Dad says and hangs up. I look at my phone, until calling Dad I had kept the phone off but now I see multiple texts and calls from Drew and from Eli. Telling Eli should be done by Clare but I call Drew back.

"Jake I n…" Drew begins when he answers and I interrupt him.

"Relax the baby isn't yours but you stay the hell away from my sister." That's all I say then I hang up and grab the paper with Lucas' phone number from Clare's purse to call him.

"Hello?"

"Hey it's Jake; we're back at my place. The appointment didn't go well and she's…frankly I'm worried about her. I know I don't know you and you don't even seem to know her very well but I could use some help, she's in shock or something."

"Yeah no problem give me your address and I'll be right over," Lucas says.

I thank him and give him my address before hanging up and going back out to check on Clare.

 **(LUCAS)**

"She's been like that for nearly an hour, she won't look at me, hasn't spoken word," Jake tells me when he lets me into his apartment.

I look over at Clare; she's just sitting on the sofa staring into nothing. Tears trickle down her down her cheeks but she's not crying hard just shedding a few tears. I walk over and kneel in front of her taking her hands.

"Clare," I say softly and she looks up at me.

"I might lose the baby, I've already done damage to it with my medications and if I go off of it my cancer has a greater chance of coming back and whether or not I have this baby I might never have kids again," she says quickly in practically one breath and with so much terror and anxiety in her voice. Saying it out loud seems to further upset her as she erupts in massive tears. She kind of curls into herself and then leaps off the sofa pulling her hands from mine and running for the washroom. She slams the door behind her but we hear her getting vomiting so neither of us follows her in.

While she's in the washroom Jake tells me about her cancer, everything the doctor told them and everything he knows about the baby's father. We try to coax Clare out of the washroom during this time but she just cries and says she doesn't feel well.

"I can't even imagine getting through cancer only to be faced with something like this," I comment when Jake is done.

"Yeah which is why she's so frightened. She hasn't told Eli yet but I'm not sure she's in any state to do so," Jake comments.

"I'll see if I can get her out of the washroom it might help if I can talk to her. I got my 13 year old girlfriend pregnant when I was 15," I tell Jake and he glares at me. "I've been making up for it for years and I have a decent relationship with my daughter now but I wish I'd done better," I tell him and walk to the washroom door knocking on it. "Clare," I call through the door knocking again, "you've been in there a long time." I knock again but there's no answer and I don't hear any movement. I look at Jake and he walks over knocking on the door.

"Clare," he calls through and still nothing. "Clare," he bangs a little louder.

I give up pounding on the door and kick it in. Clare is slumped on the floor, she's unconscious but breathing. I pick her up and we take her to the sofa, Jake brings her some water and we prop her up to sip at the water.

"I don't feel good," she groans.

"You haven't eaten since breakfast and you just threw up a bunch of times it's no wonder you passed out. Lucas can you stay with her I'll go grab some lunch for all of us."

"Yeah no problem, do you have juice or something I think we need to get her blood sugar up," I remark.

"Yeah in the fridge, I'll be back in a few," Jake says grabbing his keys before he leaves.

I find some orange juice in the fridge and pour a cup taking it to Clare. She sits up and begins sipping at it and I sit at her feet.

"You should tell the father," I comment and she shakes her head. "He needs to know Clare, I know you're facing a lot of decisions right now that will ultimately be yours but he could help at least be supportive and help you in the decisions. It is his baby too he deserves the chance to weigh in. I was young when I got Mia pregnant I thought the most important things in my life were drinking and causing trouble. I regret that now, I regret not being around for Mia when she was pregnant and I regret not knowing my daughter when she was a baby. I wish I'd known and could have been there and Mia wasn't facing any the difficulties you're facing."

"The father is in New York. I was just there a few days ago to interview at Columbia, it went really well. It's been my dream school but now…" her words trail off and she looks sad.

"Being pregnant won't stop you from living your dreams look at Mia. If you want to go to Columbia then you will," I encourage her.

"I'll have to fly back to New York and I'm afraid to tell Eli anything," she admits after a moment.

"I could come with you, be there when you tell him," I offer.

"You'd really fly out to New York with me?"

"Yeah, I was going to head home in a couple days anyway I'm sure my mom won't mind if I take off sooner given the circumstances. I should be able to change my ticket to New York."

"If you're willing to go with me then I really want you there."

"Then I'm coming," I tell her and she smiles at me.

 **(CLARE)**

"You should call Eli and tell him we're here," Lucas says when opens the door to the hotel room we're staying in tonight.

"I don't even know how to begin to tell him," I reply.

"That's why I'm here," he reminds me with a grin.

I sit down on one of the beds and get out my phone calling Eli. I'm pretty sure he'll answer because he's been calling my phone and Jake's pretty much every hour since finding out I was pregnant.

"Are you really pregnant? Please tell me Drew is not the dad," Eli says upon answering.

"You're the dad but we need to talk. I'm in town at a hotel near NYU can you come to my room to talk?"

"Yeah I'll be right there," Eli replies.

I give him the name of our hotel and the room number and he says he'll be here in ten minutes. I tell Lucas this and then go into the washroom, I lean on the sink looking into the mirror and taking a deep breath wondering how I'm going to tell Eli all of this.

Lucas told his mom he was leaving early and she was fine with it. He traded in his ticket and my mom said to use her credit card for me to buy another ticket to New York. Lucas is going to rent a car and we'll drive back together tomorrow so I won't need a ticket home. We spent all afternoon yesterday together and then had dinner with his mom by which point I wasn't feeling so physically awful but was still in emotional turmoil. Lucas and I managed to get flights out early this morning so we had to be at the airport far earlier than I wanted and I slept on the plane. Jake had driven us to the airport and I'd given him a long hug goodbye thanking him for everything. When the plane landed in New York I'd sent a text to tell him we'd landed safely and he wished me luck with Eli.

"Clare Eli will be here at any moment you should probably come out of the washroom he has no idea who I am," Lucas calls after some time. I exit the washroom just as there's a knock at the door and Lucas opens it.

"Who the hell are you?" Eli questions glaring at Lucas as he walks in.

"He's a friend Eli, he's here for support, please sit down I have a lot to tell you," I assert. Eli sits on the edge of one bed facing the other bed and I sit across from him. Lucas sits next to me and Eli takes notice of the beds and where Lucas is sitting and Eli looks angry again.

"Wait are you two sleeping in this room together?"

"Eli please that is not what's important right now," I snap at him.

"You're right I'm sorry what did you want to tell me?"

"You know I'm pregnant and you're the father when I went to the doctor she told me some other things concerning the pregnancy. I have a few weeks left of my maintenance therapy medications but if I stay on them it could not only hurt the baby but possibly cause a miscarriage," I tell Eli and all the blood drains from his face. "If I go off of them now there's a much larger possibility that I will relapse."

"So we have to choose between you and the baby?" Eli squeaks out with agony in his tone.

"More than that Eli I'm ten weeks pregnant and I didn't know that I was pregnant, it's not like I was trying, so for the last ten weeks I've been taking the medications. All of that has probably already hurt the baby and could still lead to miscarriage. Whether or not I bring the baby to term I probably can't ever get pregnant again so this is kind of it. If we do bring the baby to term it could have any number of birth defects," I tell him and I begin sobbing. A steady trickle of tears turns into a torrent and I'm crying too hard to speak. Lucas puts his arm around me and Eli reaches over taking my hand.

"What do you want to do Clare?" Eli questions but his voice is choked by fear and tears.

"I don't know. I don't want to choose between my life and the baby's. I don't want to have it; I don't want to lose it all I do know is that I still want to go to Columbia. I just don't know how to make it happen if I'm pregnant."

"If it's truly what you want you'll find a way to make it happen," Lucas assures me.

"He's right I know Columbia has been your dream for a long time and we'll figure out a way," Eli says and I nod. "Maybe you should call them or we should go down there and talk to them, figure out what our options are," Eli suggests after a few silent minutes.

"Yeah, that would probably be a good idea," I nod wiping my tears. "Let's go down there I want to talk to them in person," I say standing up. "Let's go now Lucas and I leave in the morning."

 **So the update will pick up from around here probably in Eli's pov but as I said the update is not until Friday March 25** **th** **.**


	2. We Can Get Through it Together

**Welcome to chapter two I know it was a long wait sorry but here it is the final chapter so enjoy!**

 **Ch. 2 We Can Get Through it Together**

 **(ELI)**

"I'm thirsty," Clare speaks quietly. We're at the Columbia admissions office to find out what Clare's options are. We didn't have an appointment but we told the secretary it was an emergency and she said we could wait so we're waiting.

"I'll go find you some water," Lucas tells her getting up.

Lucas seems like an okay guy but I'm not sure how he knows Clare still or what he's doing with her. I'd ask but she's in shock and stressed over the baby and what to do so I decide the questions can wait. Lucas returns a short time later with a bottle of water for Clare and he sits down by her again. We wait for another hour before the admissions lady can see us. She's surprised to see Clare back so soon and after we explain the situation to her she looks concerned and sympathetic.

"Have you decided what you're going to do?" She asks.

"I want to keep it," Clare replies which is news to us because she hadn't made a decision yet or said a word except to ask for water while we were waiting. "I may never have kids again I want to keep this baby but I won't give up on going to Columbia either," she says.

"When's your due date?"

"September 16th," Clare replies.

"The fall term begins on August 20th, we haven't had time to review your admission but I already put in my recommendation for you. With the due date being mid-September I don't think you could attend fall term but you could defer to the winter term. With special circumstances we could hold your place. If you were up for it we could admit you for the summer term, it starts June 6th it would be a lot of work but if you're up for it I think it would be good. You could take fall term off for the baby and return for winter term."

"Yes summer term I can come for summer term," Clare nods.

"Isn't DeGrassi graduation June 18th?" I inquire.

"I don't care I don't need to attend my high school graduation I need to come here and I need this baby," Clare replies resolutely.

"I'll speak with the board get your application pushed through so you know if you got in and if you they agree with me I'll get you enrolled in summer term right away."

"Thank you, thank you so much this means so much to me," Clare smiles and she seems to more relieved now.

"You are exactly the kind of student we want here at Columbia. Best of luck with everything Clare and I'll be in touch."

"Well I guess we have some things to talk about," I comment as we leave the admissions office.

"Yeah I guess we do," Clare nods.

"Uh you can drop me back at the hotel," Lucas says scratching the back of his head uncomfortably.

"No the three of us should have dinner, Lucas you have experience with this sort of thing, kind of. Anyway I'd like you there," Clare says.

"Okay let's go eat then, you know any good places Eli?" Lucas asks me.

"Yeah there's a good diner not too far here," I reply.

Since I know my way around they follow me to the subway and I show them to the restaurant. We get a booth in the back that's pretty private, I've been here a lot so I know what I want but Clare and Lucas look at the menu before ordering.

"You don't have to be involved Eli," Clare says after we order.

"Of course I do that's my baby; I want to be involved Clare. We can get an apartment together," I tell her.

"I'm not sure that us living together is a good idea Eli," Clare replies.

"Why not it's my baby?"

"I know and I won't keep you from your child, we'll have a custody arrangement," Clare says.

"I'll have to move from the dorms anyway, neither of us will be able to have a baby in the dorm," I point out.

"He's right Clare and whether you're together or not it will be better for the baby and you if you're living with someone else and you have that support. I wasn't there for Mia but she had her mom, and mine and Jane. Talk to your schools and see about family housing you'll want a three bedroom at least but even before the baby is born you'll need someone with you when you're very pregnant. Especially since you're going off your meds and your cancer could return you shouldn't be living alone," Lucas tells her.

Clare sighs a little and turns her water glass in her hands, "He's right. Can you look into family housing at NYU and if I get into Columbia I'll ask about it there and then we can talk about what to do? I'll need to make an appointment with my oncologist and an obstetrician."

"I'll go to student services first thing in the morning," I nod.

"I feel like there's so much more we need to decide and discuss but I can't think right now," Clare says.

"That's okay Clare we still have time just breathe okay everything is going to be fine," I assure her taking her hand and she smiles at me.

We're all pretty quiet while we eat, Clare is deep in thought and I can see the fear in her eyes. I'm deep in thought too, a million of them going through my mind, a million possible futures and outcomes for this situation. Even Lucas is quiet although I have no idea what's on his mind or how he even fits into this situation, so when he leaves the table to use the washroom I decide to ask Clare.

"You and Lucas are you…"

"No we're just friends and we only became friends when I ran into him in Vancouver. He was comforting and helpful, he convinced me to talk to you and volunteered to come with me," she replies and I let out a relieved breath.

"Then I guess I should thank him for convincing you to come talk to me. Clare whatever happens we'll do this together I promise you," I assure her and she smiles at me.

"I know and I'm glad I came and we're doing this together."

 **(CLARE)**

"You know you should call Mia, I can tell that you miss her when you talk about her," I tell Lucas as we get in the cab at the airport.

"She's a model in Paris she doesn't want anything to do with me anymore," he shakes his head.

"You gave me the courage to tell Eli everything. I'm telling you to tell her how you feel. It might not change anything, she may stay in Paris but you should tell her, she needs to hear it and you need to say it. Promise me you'll call her; I want to hear about it when we have dinner next week."

"Alright I promise," Lucas says and I smile.

We just flew in from New York, we saw Eli again before going to the airport and he said he applied for family housing at NYU. I promised to call him tonight after talking to my parents. I know Jake filled them in about everything but I know my mom is very worried and has a lot of questions. I still have a lot of worries too but Eli, Lucas and Jake have all been very supportive. I'm still worried about a lot of things but I feel better about all of it.

"You want me to come in?" Lucas offers when the cab gets to my house.

"No that's okay my mom is freaked out enough I think I should talk to her alone."

"Okay talk to you later, remember to call me if you need anything."

I thank Lucas and get out of the cab. Since I flew to Vancouver with no luggage I just have my purse. Mom opens the door before I even reach it. After about twenty minutes of hugging me tightly and sobbing Glen pries her away. Even though Jake filled them in we still spend a couple hours talking and I tell them everything I can. After the flight and everything I'm exhausted and go to bed early. I wake up with a terrible nauseas feeling and vomit in the washroom. I get ready for school and take my car to school. I park and my door is opened, I'm surprised to see Drew standing there and he holds out his hand to help me out of the car.

"So the baby…" Drew begins and I cut him off.

"It's not yours it's Eli's I'm ten weeks," I tell him and he lets out a relieved breath.

"If it was mine I would have done the right thing you know. I know I've been a jerk and things haven't been great between us but I was ready to support you," Drew says grabbing my backpack from the backseat and I lock the car.

"Thanks that's good to know," I smile.

"So are you and Eli going to get married?"

"No not married but we'll be living together in family housing, probably a three bedroom though. I don't know if getting back together is a good idea, but with a baby on the way and the possible complications who knows what will happen," I tell Drew as we begin walking to the building.

"Complications?" Drew asks and he really does sound worried. While we walk to my locker I explain all about going off medications, the effect it could have on the baby and that it possibly caused harm already. "Wow sorry Clare that's tough, I hope everything's okay with you and the baby," Drew says.

"Thanks Drew," I smile.

"What's going on?" Becky asks in a sharp tone.

"We're just talking Becky, see you in class," Drew says putting his arm around Becky. I pinch my eyebrows together at this sight and then Alli and Dallas come around the corner.

"When did those two get together?" I ask them.

"You disappear all weekend and all you can say is asking when Drew got together with Becky?" Alli exclaims. "Where the hell have you been?"

"I went to Vancouver because I found out I was pregnant and was freaking out. The baby is Eli's not Drew's but I'm ten weeks and didn't know it and I've been taking my cancer meds the whole time. In order to bring the baby to term I have to go off them which increases chance for relapse but since I've already been on the meds for ten weeks while pregnant there are possible complications including birth defects and miscarriage. Eli knows and I'm moving to New York, we'll move in together to raise the baby and if I did get into Columbia I'll do summer term and then miss fall term but go back in winter," I tell them quickly as I get books from my locker.

"Oh. That's where you've been," Alli exhales slowly.

"Let us know if we can do anything," Dallas says and I grin.

"Thanks Dallas. Actually can you tell Jenna and Connor for me I don't want to repeat it again and I have to make phone calls to make appointments at lunch."

"Yeah we'll tell them don't worry," Alli smiles.

"Thanks," I grin as the bell rings.

I have a different homeroom than they do so I wave and walk to homeroom. Becky glares at me but Drew tells her to stop. After second period I call my oncologist to make an appointment and make an appointment with an OB/GYN. Then I realize I have no one here to go with me to the appoint except my mom. I love my mom but I feel like she'd stress me out more than help at these so I call Lucas and ask him to come and he says he will.

Connor's only reaction is giving me statistics on teen pregnancy and cancer relapse but Jenna tells me she's here for me. Actually her, Alli and even Dallas and Drew become very supportive in the next few days. And on Friday just before third period I get a phone call that I made it into Columbia and I've been fast tracked to summer term. Everyone takes me to lunch to celebrate and I call Eli, Lucas and Jake who are all very happy to hear the news. Friday is also my first appointment with my oncologist, Drew knows I won't be at student council and Lucas picks me up from school.

"So I called Mia and we talked for over four hours. I told her everything and she's moving to New York for a new modeling contract in July. We talked about trying again and she's willing to. So I talked to my boss about transferring to New York and he said I could do it as soon as June so looks like I'll be moving to New York with you," Lucas tells me as we drive to my appointment.

"Lucas that's amazing! I'm really happy for you and Mia and very happy you'll be in New York with me."

Lucas and I start talking about New York, living there, Mia and Izzy being closer. Lucas is really happy and excited and I'm really happy for him. When I first found out I was pregnant I was shocked and terrified, but now I've got support, I've got lots of support and I feel like I can actually do this.

 **(ELI)**

"Hi we're glad you could make it," I smile letting Lucas, Mia and Izzy into the house.

"Us too our schedules finally meshed," Mia smiles hugging me and then Clare. I wave to Izzy but she hugs Clare and Lucas hugs us both.

Clare moved to New York at the end of May, she's been living here just over two months now. I had already secured us family housing in the form of an attached three-bedroom townhome. The center room is the nursery, I let Clare have the master and I took the smaller bedroom. Lucas rented a van and drove with her since he moved at the same time, he lives just a few miles from us and Mia and Izzy live a few miles from him. They only moved to New York a couple of weeks ago. Mia's been so busy with modeling we haven't seen her except a couple days after she arrived but Lucas told her and Izzy all about us. Lucas has been a great recourse and the two of us have become pretty good friends.

Clare enrolled in the summer term and began taking classes. We aren't dating we just live together, we did a lot of talking and decided it was best to just not date for the time being. Not each other or anyone else because for right now we need to concentrate on school and the baby. As the baby gets older and we continue living together and going to school we'll see what happens.

"You sit down we'll get dinner on the table," I insist to Clare.

"I'll help what can I do?" Lucas asks. Izzy sits down with Clare while Mia and Lucas help me get the table set and get dinner on the table. "So how's Adam doing?" Lucas questions as we all begin eating.

Adam awoke from his coma just a few weeks after Clare found out she was pregnant. He pretty much had to relearn everything, his memory was intact as well as some speech and motor functions but he's been in therapies since waking up. Speech therapy, physical therapy, motor therapy all of it. He was very shocked to find out that Clare was pregnant and that she and Drew had slept together. He was also shocked and hurt to find out Drew and Becky were dating but Drew broke up with Becky. Adam will return to DeGrassi in the fall and Drew will be going to Centennial. For the summer the two have been catching up and rebuilding a relationship and Drew's been supporting his brother through everything.

"He's doing great, still a little weak and physically impaired in some ways but his speech is back to normal and you can hardly even tell he spent six months in a coma. He's so much stronger and Drew's been working with him every day," Clare tells them.

We talk to Adam and Drew almost every day. Things were pretty tense with Drew and I at first but he was supportive of Clare and when Adam woke up Drew and I put aside our differences.

"Yeah they're talking about coming to visit after the baby is born," I grin.

"That's great I'd love to meet them. Lucas told us all about them," Mia says and Lucas smiles.

"Are you all moved into your place yet?" Clare asks pushing her plate away.

"What's wrong aren't you hungry?" I question giving her a worried look.

"No not hungry," Clare shakes her head. "Actually my stomach kind of hurts," she says.

"Constant pain or does it come and go?" Mia inquires.

"Well there's a dull ache in my lower back that's sort of always there but I feel pain in my stomach that's always there," Clare replies.

"I think you'd better go to the hospital," Mia comments.

"Hospital? Why?" I question in a panic.

"Because I think Clare's in labor," Mia informs me and my heart stops momentarily.

"No no no I can't be in labor I'm only 32 weeks," Clare exclaims with concerned agony in her tone.

"Lucas call an ambulance," Mia instructs.

"On it," Lucas says.

"Eli," Clare calls for me with such a worried tone it breaks my heart.

I take her hand and kiss the back of it, "It'll be okay we'll get through this together."

"What if I miscarry? The doctor said it was a risk."

"We'll get through that too I'm right here."

"The ambulance is on it's way. Have her lie down on the sofa," Lucas instructs.

He and I help Clare up and we get her lying on the sofa. Mia asks where her hospital bag is but we hadn't finished packing it yet. I tell her where to find it and give her permission to go through Clare's room and washroom to fill it with things Clare might need at the hospital.

"Even if she doesn't give birth tonight our families should be told," I comment while I sit next to Clare on the sofa and hold her hand.

"I have her mom's number, Drew's and Jake's if you want to give me your parents numbers I'll call and we'll meet you guys at the hospital," Lucas offers.

"Thanks," I smile.

I give him my mom's number and then Mia comes out of the bedroom with a bag just as there's a knock on the door. Lucas lets the EMT's in and they get Clare on a stretcher. Mia says they'll lock up and meet us at the hospital. I ride in the ambulance with Clare, they keep telling her to calm down because her anxiety is making things worse but when one EMT says there's blood she and I both freak out.

"She needs to lower her heart rate the baby is in distress," the EMT tells me in a quiet but stern voice and I nod.

"Clare look at me, deep breaths okay? Take deep breaths for our son he can feel that you're worried," I instruct her in a calm voice with my eyes locked on hers.

She nods with tears in her eyes but manages to take a few deep breaths and calms down a little. The ambulance takes us to NYU Lagngone Medical Center which is where we were going to have the baby anyway. Of course we didn't think we'd be here for another six weeks.

The EMT's take her straight to maternity and they rush her into a room talking to a doctor. I try to go in with Clare but I'm stopped by a nurse and an orderly.

"I need to be with her," I assert.

"Hang on Dad we need to get you into scrubs first," the nurse tells me.

I get sanitized and into scrubs and they tell me what's going on with Clare and what to be prepared for before I go in. Clare is trying to keep it together but she's very worried and she's crying. I go over and take her hand while many doctors and nurses begin rushing around.

"The baby is in distress we can't stop the contractions. We're going to try for a vaginal birth because it will be best but if it doesn't happen fast enough we'll have to do a cesarean. We need to start now so I need you to take a deep breath and bear down and push," the doctor instructs Clare.

She nods and squeezes my hand before taking a deep breath. I can't look below Clare's waist, there's so many people and equipment and I'm afraid to look so I hold her hand and watch her face. I hear them say that the baby is out but I don't hear any crying. Our son is rushed away in an incubator and the little bit that I see looks blue! Clare didn't see and she looks pale, the doctor and nurses are talking and moving quickly.

"We need you to leave the room," the doctor says to me.

"I'm not leaving her."

"You have to she's bleeding and I need to operate but the room needs to be clear," the doctor insists.

"Our son," Clare whispers weakly.

"I'll go be with him," I assure her.

I'm not even sure I can be with him but she's already worried enough. I leave the room and take off my mask, I lean against the wall and take a deep breath to pull myself together. Then I start walking, not quite sure where but I don't see any nurses or doctors to speak to.

"Eli," Lucas calls to me and I look over. "Where's Clare?"

"In the room, she was bleeding and they're operating or something. I…I need to find my son they took him, he was taken and blue."

"He's probably in the NICU then come on we'll go find it," Lucas says putting a hand on my shoulder.

We walk down the hall and the nurse tells me he's being treated and I can't see him just yet but they will come get me when I can see him and Clare. Lucas takes me to the waiting room where Mia and Izzy are still sitting. Lucas fills them in and tells me he called everyone and all of them including Jake, Adam and Drew are trying to get here. After what feels like a very long time a doctor comes over to talk to me. He tells my son is stable now and I can go see him now. I need new scrubs and to be sanitized again but they let me in to see him. The NICU is full of other sick babies, so tiny and frail. I find the incubator marked with **Baby Boy Edwards** and go over. He's no longer blue which is nice but he's not quite a healthy color either, sort of greyish. His little tiny body has so many machines and wires, I can only touch him with gloves on by reaching through a hole in the incubator. I reach in and touch his tiny little hand he's my son but he's so small and helpless and I love him so much already.

I stay with him for a long time, they tell me that me and Clare can come and see him any time but he'll be in here at least the next weeks. He's not fully developed, he's on a ventilator and feeding tube and they don't know what other problems he might have in the future. After some time Mia waves to me from the window of the NICU and I go over. She tells me Clare is asking for me so I leave our son. I follow Mia to Clare's room, she's not in maternity she's in recovery and close to intensive care.

"Visiting hours have been over for a while and we should get Izzy home. Call us if you need us," Lucas tells me.

"Thanks," I nod. He kisses Clare's forehead, Mia and Izzy hug her and then they leave.

"Is our son okay?" She asks me.

"He will be. He's in the NICU but he'll be okay, you can go see him when you're strong enough," I tell her.

"He doesn't have a name yet," she says.

"We have time."

"I think I know what I want to name him."

"What?"

"Lucas Edward Goldsworthy. Without Lucas I wouldn't be here right now. He convinced me to come to New York to talk to you and Columbia. He's been there since the day he saw me at the hospital and at that point he didn't even know me."

"I agree completely and I think Lucas is a great name. Edward for your last name Edwards and of course Goldsworthy as his last name. It's a perfect name, Lucas Edward Goldsworthy," I smile.

The next several weeks seem like an eternity and yet they go by so fast. Clare is in the hospital for two weeks but they take her into the NICU the day after she gave birth to see baby Lucas. She spends most of the day with him until they force her to leave. It's also the day her parents and mine arrive to meet their grandson. Lucas comes back and he's thrilled to find out we named the baby after him. The following day Jake arrives happy to meet his nephew. And two days later Drew and Adam come having driven down. Drew and Adam stay for the weekend before driving back but it was good to see them, it's good for Adam and Clare and all of us. My parents and Glen stay for a week and Clare's mom along with Jake stay for two weeks. They are there when Clare is released from the hospital and they help bring her home. Baby Lucas is in the hospital for seven weeks but when he's released he's healthy and alive and we get to bring him home. He'll have problems with his lungs and possible asthma, he'll probably be on the small side his whole life but he's alive and healthy and that makes us extremely happy parents.

"Welcome home Lucas Edward Goldsworthy," Clare smiles walking into the house with him in her arms. Then she looks up at me with a smile, "There were so many moments I thought we wouldn't get to this moment."

"I know but we did and our little boy is strong. Whatever comes after this we'll face it as a family."

 **That does it for this two-shot I hope you enjoyed it. Don't forget that Monday begins One Shot Week.**


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